[confused subject line here]

Here is an email template that will work in 100% of business contexts.  I hereby release it into the public domain. [contrived greeting here], [brief synopsis of confusion here]. [assignment of blame here]. [statement beginning with “my understanding was…” Here]. [exhaustive elaboration of misunderstanding here] [finer points of misunderstanding here] [complete sentence disguised as a bullet point here] [passive […]

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