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Don’t even talk to me until I’…

Don’t even talk to me until I’ve instagrammed my coffee. http://t.co/FbrFvqzL

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I can’t wait to Instagram my c…

I can’t wait to Instagram my coffee in the morning.

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I think Siri is going through …

I think Siri is going through puberty

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New iPhone headphones are #dog…

New iPhone headphones are #dogshit

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Really quite thrilled with my …

Really quite thrilled with my iPhone. But I suck at typing on this monster.

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Our football team is super div…

Our football team is super diverse. There’s at least TWO types of Beats headphones in this picture. @CowboysFootball http://t.co/GYJvXfJF

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“Hey girl, I stomp a guy’s fac…

“Hey girl, I stomp a guy’s face in just for you.” — Ryan Gosling, as The Driver in Drive (2011) #pinterest

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.@MasonMagagna just performed …

.@MasonMagagna just performed an exorcism while I was on the phone with verizon. What are we doing with our lives?

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A new entrant to the WTF categ…

A new entrant to the WTF category: @RachaelVolsey welcome @wontonjon3 and his award: “9/20 Episcopalian Play Date”

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The HAM achievements : BK Vomi…

The HAM achievements : BK Vomit, ALL Bad ass (hood rats in the alley), TS, BK, MM, AH BADASS Klepto (@schwabtyler, @MasonMagagna, @luhrain)